[note, slightly out of date] How many times... How many times has it been! He gets some kind of perverse pleasure from torturing you. From putting you through them, over and over again... You've lost track. Your game collection. You figured it out after you died the third time. After that, you deluded yourself into thinking you might have some kind of chance. Ha! You never have a chance. BFG 9000s, game breaking weapons, leveling up to level 99 - none of it has ever worked. But you still hope. Eventually, he's going to have to slip up, and put you in a situation he didn't anticipate. And then, you can get out of here forever... Retro Fatale An Interactive Fiction by Aaron Arendt Release 1 / Serial number 100509 / Inform 7 build 5Z71 (I6/v6.31 lib 6/12N) SD Strange Room Your eyes try to focus on anything, but fail. There's nothing here but you. All you can see is static snow, like from an untuned television. It's above you, below you - all around you. A terrible din like a hundred hissing cobras fills your ears. >x static It hurts your eyes to look at the static. You don't want to open your eyes, but maybe you should search for a way out. >listen You can't hear anything else other than the hissing. Your ears are starting to hurt. >search static You see a slight abberation in the static, it might be a way outside of this mess. You should try to "go out". >go out You push your body towards the abberation, and suddenly you feel as though your body is covered in pins and needles. You feel something like static shocks all over your body. You pass out. You wake up in a strang(er?) place. You can't see static anywhere, or anything at all to suggest how you got here. Dark Forest A purpleish gloom hangs about, punctuated by oily pools of some strange yellow fluid you want no part of. Trees surround you, though they seem... strange. The ground is covered in thick grass. You can see a small opening in the trees to the north, where some light pours through. A television screen floats in midair. >listen You hear some generic chiptunes. Beep beep boop. Wakka CHHH boop. >x screen The floating screen reads: "Endless Fantasy Quest" "Licensed by Nintendron" Oh great, not this game - you could never beat this game without cheating. Wait a minute - cheating!? Of course! Why didn't I think of it before! I've been trying to beat him by playing the rules all this time. It's time to break some rules and kick some ass. But how... There's got to be a way. After you read the screen it vanishes with a pop. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >x trees Upon closer inspection, The trees are actually low resolution, pixelated tree knockoffs. You look at the world a bit more closely, and realise that everything is pixelated. That's new. How old is this game? >x oily pools Ugh, looking at it makes you want to be sick. >smell pools What's the oppoiste of something that smells delicious? Oh yes, HORRIBLE. It's smells horrible. Don't you ever try to taste it. Ever. >taste fluid You almost throw up, it's so horrible. HOW UNEXPECTED. Okay, I think you've had enough of the strange fluid, you should continue your journey of revenge. >drink oily pools You can't bring yourself to do it. >x grass You look through the grass, and eventually spot a brown bag. You pick it up. [Your score has just gone up by two points.] >x bag It is a small brown bag. On the side it says "Ye Olde Bage Ofe Holdinge." >open bag You open the bag of holding, revealing a coin. >x coin A small coin, the size of a quarter. You can't tell exactly how much it is worth by just looking at it, but you can assume it's next to worthless. >n Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >x sky The sky is light blue. Tiny puffs of white and grey pixels, what you can only assume to be clouds, float on by lazily. Oh come on, the sun is square! >x sign It is a broad plank of wood nailed to a waist high post. It reads: "North - Castle Town West - The Lamia's Cave and Evil Fortress East - Beach and Pixie Forest South - ..." The last direction is crossed out, and you can't read it. >n Castle Town Gate A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall. The two guards watch you closely. >x guards The guards are wearing highly polished armour - or would be, if it wasn't so dull. Really, those pixels are making it hard to see. They guard the gate. >x wall The great stone wall is high, imposing and unclimbable - it blocks you from entering the city completely. >x gate The gate, made of sturdy iron, is made of thick iron bars. Through the bars, you can see the promenade to the north. >x promenade You can't see any such thing. >ne East Wall There is nothing here but grass. Southwest is the gate. >sw Castle Town Gate A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall. The two guards watch you closely. >nw West Wall There is nothing here but shrubbery. Southeast is the gate. >x shrubbery Lining the wall in a few places is thick shrubbery. It looks like you can squeeze yourself into the shrubbery. >enter shrubbery Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >w West Wall There is nothing here but shrubbery. Southeast is the gate. >e Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Did you hear? The Troll has a fascination with death." >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "The Blacksmith gives good massages." >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "...That's nothing - The Lamia took my husband and both my sons! Beat that." >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "I heard the apothecary has been neglecting his store and going to the beach lately." >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "That lazy king refuses to fix the bridge because his daughter's missing!" >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >z Time passes. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "...That's nothing - The Lamia took my husband and both my sons! Beat that." >n As you walk to the castle, some men in robes see you and pick you up, bright smiles on their faces. They take you to the throne room of the castle, plop you down on the red carpet, and leave. From the throne, the King says, "Lo! The prophesied hero has come! We have waited for you for many years, great hero. Far to the west is an evil king, bent on the destruction of this land. Only you can kill him. For now, the bridge to his castle is broken, stemming the tide of his wrath, and protecting the unwary. I will have it fixed, but first you must prove thy worth by slaying the troll that guards the eastern bridge. Please, you must hurry, however. My daughter, Princess Penny, is held captive by that dark lord! Please, Slay the evil lord, and bring her back!" That's it? No money, nor weapons? What a douche. Throne Room A large opulent hall is lined with polished pillars of marble, and a royal red carpet that extends up to the throne. You can see a royal throne (on which is a douchey king) here. >x throne The graphics sparkle with dozens of gems embedded within the gold structure. The douchey king sits on the throne. >x king An old man, tired of his rule and lazy with good food, who loves his daughter dearly. He has a sparkly crown. >x crown Like the throne, this crown sparkles with several gems. >ask king about troll He says, "He is east of the crossroads, in the west bank of the river. Slay him and prove your worth." >ask king about cash He shifts on his throne, "There's no time for that, go save my daughter, Princess Penny!" >s Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Did you hear? The Troll has a fascination with death." >e Inn The few lanterns that there are light the room dimly from the ceiling. This is really more of a bar than an inn, but whatever. Tables dot the floor, sourounded by patrons secretly discussing things, sipping rotgut beer. The proprietor of the Inn is nowhere to be seen. The promendade is west. You can see a Table (on which are a beer and a sleeping drunkard) here. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "ZZZzzz*burp*zzzz" >x patrons A real ugly lot. They're too busy with themselves to notice you. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "Killing a troll... Zzz... Easy with a-zzzzz... Vorpal..." >x table 'Tis a table, certainly, but it's certainly not impressive. The graphic designers didn't even draw any lines on it for the boards. It's just a yellowy brown. There is a beer and a sleeping drunkard on the table. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "Up up... Down down..." >x drunk You can't see any such thing. >x beer The beer smells pungent, and looks almost like those oily pools of yellow water you saw in the dark forest. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "That lamia... sure likes a massage..." >get beer Taken. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "Zzzz... C'mere... Hotstuff..." >smell beer The beer smells horrible. You hope nobody actually paid for this. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "I don't wanna go to school mommy. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you." >taste beer You're quickly losing your appetite. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "ZZZzzz*burp*zzzz" >drink beer Against your better judgement, you drink the beer. You spend the next several minutes trying not to lose your lunch. You feel better, eventually. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "Zzzz... C'mere... Hotstuff..." >get beer Taken. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "Up up... Down down..." >ask the drunkard about lamia You couldn't wake him with a gun shot. The sleeping drunkard mumbles something in his sleep: "I don't wanna go to school mommy. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you." >w Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >nw Blacksmith This seems like a high class establishment. All around the room are hung low-res versions of classic weapons. Of particular note is an extremely well detailed, elegant sword. There is also a shelf here. The promenade is southeast. You can see a smith here. >x elegant sword This seems to be the pride of the blacksmith. The sprite is so well detailed, it almost looks sharp. A sign below it says: "Vorpal Sword of Killing - Price: Ask the smith." That's never a good sign... >x smith A stout man, covered in soot. Looks rich and well fed. >x shelf A barely used shelf has many dusty books moldering upon it. There is massage book in the shelf. >x massage book This book teaches how to give good massages. Hmm, good to know. >get book (the massage book) The smith stops you, "Hey now hey now, hands off! Although... now that I think about it, I guess I don't need it anymore. Tell you what, pay me a coin, and I'll give you the book. Sound fair?" Actually, that does sound pretty fair. >ask the smith about sword He says, "Aye, a fine eye you have there. The Vorpal Killing Sword is an enchanted blade capable of killing almost anything! All for the low low price of 10,000 coin! What's wrong? You look a bit ill." >ask smith about book He looks wistfully into the distance. "Ah, I've had some good times with that, let me tell you! But I don't really need it anymore. I'll sell it to you for a coin? And trust me, it's a bargain at any price." >give coin to smith (first taking the coin) He pockets the coin quickly, "Perfect! Fine doing business with you. Please, come again. Just take it off the shelf." [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >get book (the massage book) Taken. >se Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "That lazy king refuses to fix the bridge because his daughter's missing!" >ne Alleyway The rooves overhead seem to intersect, shutting out the sky. The only light comes from the promenade to the southwest. You can see a teak door here. >x door A door made of teak wood. Above it, a sign reads: "Apothecary." On the doorknob is a sign saying: "Closed." >sw Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "I heard the apothecary has been neglecting his store and going to the beach lately." >w West Wall There is nothing here but shrubbery. Southeast is the gate. >se Castle Town Gate A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall. The two guards watch you closely. >s Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >w Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. A female guard stands in front of the entrance to the cave. You can also see a hand-made sign here. >w Ancient Bridge A bridge, or what's left of a bridge, extends before you, leading to a dark castle. You can't cross it - the bridge has fallen into disrepair, and collapsed. You assume your nemesis is in that castle, pretending to be the final boss of this game, waiting for you. East will take you to the cave entrance. >x bridge The broken bridge is completely in shambles, and uncrossable. It looks salvagable, though - you might be able to find someone to repair it. >e As you turn to leave, you kick something hidden in the grass. It is a Crystal Skull. >get skull (putting the beer into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >x skull The crystal skull is very heavy, but shines beautifully in the light. Though pixelated, it is still very creepy. It stares evilly into your soul. >e Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. A female guard stands in front of the entrance to the cave. You can also see a hand-made sign here. The female guard pines for a drink. >x sign The sign is nailed to the side of cave entrance. Upon the sign, scrawled in scratch marks, the sign reads "Lamia's Cave: Men Only." If you squint really hard, you can kind of make out a hand-scratched picture of a woman...thing, blowing you a kiss. >x skeleton The bones are picked clean. All the bones are still intact, except the hips, which are shattered. >x guard She's wearing armor and everything. She looks pretty stern. The female guard pines for a drink. >s The guard stops you. "On the King's orders, no man shall enter this cave." The female guard pines for a drink. >ask guard about lamia The guard addresses you, saying "Yeah, there's no way you're getting in here. Oh she'll send you to heaven alright... before she sends you to hell." >ask guard about snoo snoo She chuckles, saying "Yeah, that's about the size of it." >ask guard about beer Looking especially desperate, she says "Oh man, do you have some? I've been out here all day..." The female guard pines for a drink. >give beer to guard (first taking the beer) (putting the massage book into the bag of holding to make room) Barely a second after you offered her the drink she grabbed it and gulped it down at once. She belches loudy, and says "Whew, I sure needed that. Thanks, citizen. Wow, that really made me sleepy. Screw the king, I'm going on a break!" She wanders off somewhere. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >s Lamia's Cave Pointy squares (rocks, you assume) and dirt are lit by light from the entrance, casting long shadows that pool into the back of the cave. There is a stairway down from here carved from the rock. You can see an extinguished torch here. >x rocks Really? You want to look at some rocks? Fine. Brown squares litter the room. Happy? >get torch Taken. >x torch You see nothing special about the extinguished torch. >light torch You light the extinguished torch. >d Cave Passage There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast. >se Cave Passage There is a passage northwest, and a passage east. >e Cave Passage There are passages north, west, and south. >s Cave Passage You can see a tiny hole in the corner, large enough to put your arm through. There is a passage north. >x hole In the hole is a 7-coloured gem. >get gem (putting the crystal skull into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >n Cave Passage There are passages north, west, and south. >w Cave Passage There is a passage northwest, and a passage east. >nw Cave Passage There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast. >sw Cave Passage There is a passage northeast, and a passage south. >s Cave Passage There are passages north, east, and west. >w Cave Passage There is a passage east, and a passage south. >s Lamia's Bedchamber Natural rocks walls give way to walls of mortar and stone. Flaming lanterns light the room. Here is where the Lamia sleeps, and holds her "victims" until they are... ahem... dried out. You can leave her bedchamber to the north. You can see a bed (on which is a Lamia) here. The Lamia grabs the shackles. >x bed The bed is simple, but nice. It looks very comfy. Attached to the bed are shackles. The Lamia lunges at you with lust in her eyes, but you dodge her. >x shackles The Iron shackles are attached to the bed. They are empty at the moment, but seem to be for her "special guests." She lunges again, but she misses, and in the confusion you run out of the room. Cave Passage There is a passage east, and a passage south. >e Cave Passage There are passages north, east, and west. >n Cave Passage There is a passage northeast, and a passage south. >ne Cave Passage There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast. >up Lamia's Cave Pointy squares (rocks, you assume) and dirt are lit by light from the entrance, casting long shadows that pool into the back of the cave. There is a stairway down from here carved from the rock. >n Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. You can see a hand-made sign here. >w Ancient Bridge A bridge, or what's left of a bridge, extends before you, leading to a dark castle. You can't cross it - the bridge has fallen into disrepair, and collapsed. You assume your nemesis is in that castle, pretending to be the final boss of this game, waiting for you. East will take you to the cave entrance. >w You can't go that way. >e Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. You can see a hand-made sign here. >e Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >e West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll blocks the way across the bridge. >x river The river isn't so much... flowing, as it is slowly changing graphical tiles. There are 3 tiles that rotate in a sequence. >listen Oddly, you don't hear the running water. Guess the programmers didn't think of that. >x bridge The bridge is narrow, but sturdy. It's colored various shades of grey in uneven blocks. It spans the river. >x troll He's large, with green skin. His eyes are two small yelow pixels, and you notice two fangs. Somehow you can make out that he's wearing a loincloth and a skull belt and carrying a large oaken club. >e The troll blocks your progress. "No, need shinies first!" >ask troll about troll He says "I Need Shinies! Then you pass." >ask troll about brudge There is no reply. >ask troll about bridge He says, "You want pass? You have shinies?" >give skull to troll Which do you mean, the crystal skull, or the skull belt? >skull Which do you mean, the crystal skull, or the skull belt? >crystal (first taking the crystal skull) (putting the 7-coloured gem into the bag of holding to make room) The troll practically drools himself to death when he sees the skull. He takes it appreciatively, and stands aside. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >e The troll smiles, eyeing the skull, and allows you to pass. Pixie Forest Pleasant aromas waft through the air. Flowers of every shade adorn the soft grass around the clearing, and tiny bright coloured pixels seem to endlessly float down from the sky and dissapear. Covered in vines and muck are ancient ruins, long destroyed. A happy pixie floats around the flowers in utter joy. You can also see a beautiful flower here. >x ruins Only a few crumblings stones remain, draped in foliage. >x flowers You can't see any such thing. >x flower It's a square of pink, with a yellow square in the middle. A green line you assume is the stem branches off from the head of the flower. Two darker green blobs are some leaves. It's a "beautiful flower" all right. >get flower Taken. >x pixie The sprite for the pixie (heh, sprite, pixie...) moves about the clearing, alternating between two tiles to show her wings move. >ask pixie about pixie She flutters over to you. "Hello! I LOVE flowers, don't you? La lala..." >ask pixie about plowers She is too absorbed in her utter joy to notice you. >ask pixie about flowers She flutters over to you. "Did you say flowers!? You like flowers? Me too! We have a lot in common." She talks for a few moments about the flowers. You don't pay attention, until she says, "Did you know that the Lamia loves flowers? She never gets to see them in her cave." >ask pixie about lamia She flutters over to you. "She's my friend! She used to come here to look at the flowers." >w West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll is here. >s Beach The beach is nice, but the sand seems a bit too yellow. Some really low-res beachgoers have set themselves up along the ocean and wander around aimlessly. They don't notice you. To the north is the west bank of a river. A simple white lounge chair sits in the sand. It looks inviting. A woman by the name of Ashley is here, relaxing on the beach. She looks nervous. >x beachgoers Beach-going NPCs line the ocean, wanderig in random directions. They ignore you completely. >x sand Tiny blocks of yellow, yellow, and more yellow. Feels like regular sand on your feet. >x ashley She is tall, brunette, and nicely oiled. She seems to be laying in a lounge chair, reading a book. She's wearing a bikini bottom but no top - She seems to be holding the book over her chest. >x book Which do you mean, the gaming book, or the massage book? >gaming You can't read it from here. The cover says "Player's Guide." >get book Which do you mean, the gaming book, or the massage book? >gaming That seems to belong to Ashley. >search sand You pick some sand up in your hands, and it looks like you just raided your old stash of yellow legos. When you let the sand pour back, you find a rusty key. You take it. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >ask ashley about book She scoffs, "It's currently in use, pervert!" >ask ashley player's guide I didn't understand that sentence. >ask ashley about player's guide She scoffs, "I don't care what it is, or why you need it - I need it more!" >ask ashley about bikin top She moans, "Just leave me alone!" >ask ashley about bikini top She blushes and says, "It - It got stolen, okay!" >ask ashley about beach She says, "I just wanted a nice tan... *whimper*". >ask ashley about boobs She says, "NO YOU CAN'T SEE THEM!" >massage ashley She says, "Do get any ideas, Mister." >n West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll is here. >w Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >w Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. You can see a hand-made sign here. >s Lamia's Cave Pointy squares (rocks, you assume) and dirt are lit by light from the entrance, casting long shadows that pool into the back of the cave. There is a stairway down from here carved from the rock. >d Cave Passage There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast. >sw Cave Passage There is a passage northeast, and a passage south. >s Cave Passage There are passages north, east, and west. >e Cave Passage There is a passage west. >w Cave Passage There are passages north, east, and west. >w Cave Passage There is a passage east, and a passage south. >s Lamia's Bedchamber Natural rocks walls give way to walls of mortar and stone. Flaming lanterns light the room. Here is where the Lamia sleeps, and holds her "victims" until they are... ahem... dried out. You can leave her bedchamber to the north. You can see a bed (on which is a Lamia) here. The Lamia grabs the shackles. >x lamia Man, she has got to have the highest resolutuion sprite of the game. Her top half is that of a woman. Her hair is purple, and her eyes are dark purple. She is sinfully curvy. Her bottom half is the tail of a snake, as big around as a pair of legs, and three times as long. She keeps it coiled under herself. The tail is covered in black and green scales. She is wearing a leather bra. The Lamia lunges at you with lust in her eyes, but you dodge her. >give flower to lamia Touched, the lamia dropes the shackles and smiles. Nobody's ever been nice to her. She says, "Is that for me? Thank you. I love flowers, but I never get a chance to see them in here." She puts the flower in her hair. "Does it look nice?" Relaxed, she returns to the bed. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >x bra A tiny bra, made of leather, with a metal clasp at the back. >x walls The walls look wet and slimy. >ask lamia about lamia She smiles, "My name? It's Nagaluum Tesla Di Carabosse. But you can call me Naga, tiger." *rowrr* >ask lamia about flower She closes her eyes, "I love flowers so much. Maybe I should move out of this cave... But it's so nice and *private*." >ask lamia about boobs She smiles wickedly, "Oh ho ho, naughty boy! I love it when you talk dirty!" Yeah, maybe a little too much... >ask lamia about shackles She smiles, and twirls her fingers on her tail, "Mmmmm, wanna closer look?" >attack lamia Now now, Mr. Barbarian - how about some tenderness. >massage lamia She purrs, "Oh my, well, if you insist." She lays down on her stomach and waits for you. You start to rub her back, and makes little appreciative noises. She mumbles, "I loves me some massages..." >massage lamia She moans, "Oh yeah, right there! Wait, hold on, my bra is in the wayShe slips the bra off, and lays back down. "Okay, keep going." *yawn* >massage lamia As you continue to rub her back, she quickly falls asleep. Holy shit, you just sexed up a sexy monster girl. High five! The Lamia mumbles, "Zzzz... *snort*" [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >get bra Taken. The Lamia mumbles, "I lurvs massages... Zzz..." >wear bra You put on the leather bra. You feel pretty. The Lamia mumbles, "Zzzzzzz... ZZZZzzzz...." >z Time passes. The Lamia mumbles, "Mmmm... Zzzz... Lower..." >z Time passes. The Lamia mumbles, "Zzzzzzz... ZZZZzzzz...." >z Time passes. The Lamia mumbles, "Zzzz... *snort*" >n Cave Passage There is a passage east, and a passage south. >e Cave Passage There are passages north, east, and west. >n Cave Passage There is a passage northeast, and a passage south. >ne Cave Passage There is a stairway leading up to the entrance, a passage southwest, and a passage southeast. >up Lamia's Cave Pointy squares (rocks, you assume) and dirt are lit by light from the entrance, casting long shadows that pool into the back of the cave. There is a stairway down from here carved from the rock. >n Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. You can see a hand-made sign here. >e Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >e West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll is here. >s Beach The beach is nice, but the sand seems a bit too yellow. Some really low-res beachgoers have set themselves up along the ocean and wander around aimlessly. They don't notice you. To the north is the west bank of a river. A simple white lounge chair sits in the sand. It looks inviting. A woman by the name of Ashley is here, relaxing on the beach. She looks nervous. >give bra to ashley As you hand her the leather bra, she looks up at you like you're Santa on her first christmas. She blubbers, "Oh thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! " She discretely puts on the bra. "I've had enough of this beach for today, I think." She walks off, Leaving the book. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >get book (the gaming book) (putting the rusty key into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >x book (the gaming book) It's says "Player's Guide," on the cover. Aside from some regular fluff, the book mentions that the Vorpal Killing Sword has a 10% chance of dropping when a pixie dies. You also notice that a page is missing from the book - it seems to have been ripped out. >n West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll is here. >e The troll smiles, eyeing the skull, and allows you to pass. Pixie Forest Pleasant aromas waft through the air. Flowers of every shade adorn the soft grass around the clearing, and tiny bright coloured pixels seem to endlessly float down from the sky and dissapear. Covered in vines and muck are ancient ruins, long destroyed. A happy pixie floats around the flowers in utter joy. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. The pixie you killed left behind a vorpal killing sword. A few celebratory notes, reminiscent of opening chest in a Zelda game, play upon the breeze. You sing to yourself "you got the thiiiiing!" After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. The pixie you killed left behind a vorpal killing sword. A few celebratory notes, reminiscent of opening chest in a Zelda game, play upon the breeze. You sing to yourself "you got the thiiiiing!" After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >murder pixie You kill the pixie. Blood splashes over the flowers and the ruins. She cries out in utter agony, asking you over and over again why you killed her. "Nooo! Why? Uuuuaaaaaaa! You bastard! You are a-" She's having trouble talking, there's too much blood in her mouth. "You're a monster..." Her body starts twitching violent and painfully, before finally jerking to a stop. Even in death she looks utterly miserable. Her body, and the blood, dissapear slowly. After a moment, another pixie comes into existence with a pop. >get sword (putting the gaming book into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >w West Bank You are on the west bank of a great river. There is an ominous bridge, crossing the river. To the west is a path leading back to the Crossroads. To the South is a path leading to the beach. A Troll is here. >give troll rusty key (first taking the rusty key) (putting the vorpal killing sword into the bag of holding to make room) The Troll backs away, saying " Uaaagh! Worst Shiney Ever! Do Not Want! >kill troll He laughs at you and pushes you away with his club. >get sword (putting the rusty key into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >kill troll The troll is too enamoured with the crystal skull to notice you approach. Feeling your intent, the vorpal killing sword takes over your arm and expertly lops off the troll's head. The head splashes into the river. The troll staggers around for a few moments, before falling over the side of the bridge into the river. You killed a defenseless Troll, congratulations. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >w Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >n Castle Town Gate A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall. The two guards watch you closely. >nw West Wall There is nothing here but shrubbery. Southeast is the gate. >e Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "The Blacksmith gives good massages." >ne Alleyway The rooves overhead seem to intersect, shutting out the sky. The only light comes from the promenade to the southwest. You can see a teak door here. >unlock door What do you want to unlock the teak door with? >rusty key (first taking the rusty key) (putting the vorpal killing sword into the bag of holding to make room) You unlock the teak door. >open door You open the teak door. >n You can't go that way. >enter door Apothecary The store is deserted. Cobwebs inhabit the corners, and dust covers the shelves. You can see a teak door and a counter here. >x counter A plain counter, covered in dust. On the counter is a sample box. >x sample box A box, labeled: "Free Samples - Take One" Inside is a potion. >get potion (putting the rusty key into the bag of holding to make room) Taken. >drink potion Oh well, down the hatch! You feel microscopically better. >get potion Taken. >enter door Alleyway The rooves overhead seem to intersect, shutting out the sky. The only light comes from the promenade to the southwest. You can see a teak door here. >sw Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" "Hello!" "Welcome to Castle Town!" Ugh... NPCs... >n Throne Room A large opulent hall is lined with polished pillars of marble, and a royal red carpet that extends up to the throne. You can see a royal throne (on which is a douchey king) here. >ask king about troll He says, "I have already heard that you killed the troll, and have ordered the bridge fixed. You may now go to the evil lord's castle and save my daughter." >s Promenade Various NPCs wander about the shops and stores, engaging in conversations that you overhear easily. Along a wall is some shrubbery. South could take you out of the town, but you'd rather not gain the attention of the guards, lest you be thrown out unceremoniously. East is the inn, northeast is an alleyway, the blacksmith is northwest, and the castle is north. You hear a gaggle of NPCs talking. They say, "The Blacksmith gives good massages." >w West Wall There is nothing here but shrubbery. Southeast is the gate. >se Castle Town Gate A high wall obscures the town itself, but you can see through gate a little bit - it looks inviting. You get the feeling that all your problems can be solved by entering this town. The gate, which is north, is attended by two guards. You can go northeast to the eastern side of the wall, or you can go to the northwest to see the western side of the wall. The two guards watch you closely. >s Crossroads You are out in the daylight now, and can see far and wide. Before you is a crossroads going north, east, south, and west. There is a thicket of woods to the south nearby. Far in the distance, to the north, you see spires with flags waving in the gentle breeze. You can see a signpost here. >w Cave Entrance Lining the path is a cliff face. To the south you see an opening in the cliff leading into a cave, complete with a skeleton by the entrance. If you continue west, there seems to be an ancient looking bridge in the distance. To the east is the cross roads. You can see a hand-made sign here. >w Newly-Refurbished Bridge Excellent - the bridge has been newly-refurbished, and sturdy as anything. Now you can cross the bridge to the dark castle in the north. The cave entrance is east. >x bridge The Bridge has been newly-refurbished. It almost looks like they were trying to make it the next tourist destination. >i You are carrying: a potion a flaming torch (providing light) a bag of holding (open) a rusty key a vorpal killing sword a gaming book a 7-coloured gem a massage book >put out torch You put out the flaming torch. >put all in bag potion: Done. extinguished torch: Done. >n Evil Castle You are inside the evil castle. Spires, spikes, and spears seem to jut out of every surface. The only light comes from a stained glass window above a massive iron door to the north. There is a purplish gloom hanging about everywhere, like a thin fog. To the east is a featureless door. To the west is a black door. You can see a black door, a featureless door, and an iron doors here. >x spires All along the walls, on window sills, door awnings - spikes. You could hurt yourself sneezing here. >x window It's generic rpg fluff - some unidentified "saint" is rendered, poorly, in the window. It's above the great iron doors. >x gloom A strange fog floats harmlessly about the room. >x featureless door This door is completely flat and smooth. There's no handles or knobs. To the side of the door is a panel. >x panel The panel is a slight depression in the wall beside the fetureless door. In the panel is a hole with seven sides. You think you can insert something in the panel. >insert gem into panel The gem fits snugly into the hole. A moment after you place the gem in the hole, the panel opens and the gem dissapears within before closing again. Various clicks sound through the walls. The featureless door unlocks and opens itself. >e As you enter, you are assaulted with an array of plush toys to the face. You hear a sweet voice yell "Out! Out! Outoutoutoutoutoutoutoutout!" In the corner you notice a shivering girl in a dress, closing her eyes and waving her arms around. You say, "Well, okay, if you're sure. I'll just lock the door again..." In surprise, she opens her eyes and lets out an "Eeep! Ohmygodimsosorry! I didn't- I shouldn't have- Oh, I'm sorry..." You tell her t's fine - plush toys don't hurt, and explain that you're here to rescue her. She smiles sweetly, blushes, and says "Well, Mr. Hero, lead the way." Dainty Prison Cell While this is functionally a prison, it is quite more aptly a room designed for a pretty princess. The walls are covered in pink wallpaper covered in very fine lacy curls. Plush toys litter the room. This is where the dark lord keeps the princess. Princess Penny hangs by you, closely. You can also see a featureless door and a lacy bed here. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >x plush Puppies, Kitties, Giraffes, Zebras, Bears - All Cute, all shaped like squares. >x bed It's a pretty, pink bed - lined with lace. Fit for a princess. >x princess The king's daughter. She seems very sweet, and shy. Her hair is blonde, her eyes are green, and she's wearing a pink dress that screams high royalty. The ends were covered in white lace. Her smile is beautiful. She's very well detailed - you'd almost believe she was real... >ask penny about penny She smiles, "Oh, well, I'm fine. *blush* Thank you for asking..." >ask penny about king She smiles, "I knew he would find a way to rescue me! Eventually..." How long has she been a prisoner? >ask penny about hero She smiles, "You certainly are a strange hero." She seems to like you. >ask penny about lamia She fake smiles, "You... you met Naga, did you?" She looks uncomfortable. >ask penny about nemesis Her smile falters somewhat, "You musn't fight him! He's unbeatable! Please, run away..." You though she said "with me," but you can't be sure. >ask penny about troll She smiles, "You actually defeated the Troll!? Impressive!" >ask penny about cell She smiles, "It really wasn't so bad. Lonely though... >ask penny about prince Her smile falters abruptly, "I don't want to talk about him." >ask penny about boobs She blushes madly, but mercifully pretends she didn't hear you. >massage the princess She blushes, saying, "O-o-okay... If you insist..." and turns her back to you. You massage the princess, keeping it very PG. >w Evil Castle You are inside the evil castle. Spires, spikes, and spears seem to jut out of every surface. The only light comes from a stained glass window above a massive iron door to the north. There is a purplish gloom hanging about everywhere, like a thin fog. To the east is a featureless door. To the west is a black door. You can see a featureless door, an iron doors, and a black door here. Princess Penny runs after you. >look Evil Castle You are inside the evil castle. Spires, spikes, and spears seem to jut out of every surface. The only light comes from a stained glass window above a massive iron door to the north. There is a purplish gloom hanging about everywhere, like a thin fog. To the east is a featureless door. To the west is a black door. Princess Penny hangs by you, closely. You can also see a featureless door, an iron doors, and a black door here. >x black door A sturdy black door. You can see no keyhole. Carved on the door is this: "Say the secret of nomaKi to me" >say up up down down left right left right b a start to the black door You hear a crescendo rise an fall, and the black door unlocks and opens itself. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >w Programmer room The room is utter blackness all around. For some reason, it scares you, and you don't want to wander off in any direction. Lit as though from a spotlight, in the centre of the room you see a desk, a computer, and a man. On the desk is a stack of papers. You can see a black door and a game programmer here. Princess Penny runs after you. >x programmer Sleepy eyed, pale from lack of sunlight, he madly types away at his computer, oblivious to you. >ask programmer about penny He mumbles something to himself, and doesn't look at you. >give torch to penny (first taking the extinguished torch) Princess Penny doesn't seem interested. >give torch to programmer You wave it in front of his eyes. He doesn't notice. >x desk A simple desk, holding up the computer. The programmer is sitting at it. >x computer On the screen you can see... The code for this very game!? Woah, that opens up a whole existenial dillema you don't even want to start on. You completely forget about what you saw. >x papers A stack of worthless papers with code samples, character speech, and the like written on them. On the top, you notice a strange, torn page that doesn't seem to belong. You pick it up. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >x torn page This seems to be the missing page from the Player's Guide. It reads: "Cheater's Corner: If the last boss is proving too hard for you, there's a bug in the game that will make him a pushover. Since he has the most HP possible, giving him a simple potion will cause his HP roll over and go back to the single digits!" You laugh maniacally. This. Is. It. He's going down. >e Evil Castle You are inside the evil castle. Spires, spikes, and spears seem to jut out of every surface. The only light comes from a stained glass window above a massive iron door to the north. There is a purplish gloom hanging about everywhere, like a thin fog. To the east is a featureless door. To the west is a black door. You can see a black door, a featureless door, and an iron doors here. Princess Penny runs after you. >n As you enter the dead hall, in a flash of light, your nemesis appears before you. He bows extravagantly and begins his usual monologue. You always hate this part. "Hello, dear friend! We meet again, this time, in such old fashioned circumstances." He gestures to the pixelated landscape. "I checked through your save files - you've never actually beaten this game before. I wanted to see if you could do better with circumstances being as they are. You certainly did it differently than I expected! Did you have fun? Did you have a good time?" "Ah, but all good things must come to an inevitable end - and painfully, in your case. Yes, I have the next game lined up already! You'll love it, I'm sure. But, I'm feeling charitable today, I'll let you have the first shot. If you're ready, strike the first blow. Otherwise, go off and level up or something... I'll be right here..." He laughs hysterically. You hope you know what you're doing. dead hall This is the final area of the game, where the hero is supposed to defeat the overlord and win the game. But your nemesis has taken over this game, and so he stands before you instead. Everything here is blackness, except a light path that leads to him. You don't dare wander off into the darkness. Your nemesis waits patiently for you here. You can also see an iron doors here. Princess Penny runs after you. >x nemesis He looks like a human male, but you're not fooled - he's some kind of data entity that captured you so long ago, and has been torturing you in your game collection ever since. He is not pixelated at all. He has black hair, brown eyes, and his skin is lined with glowing circuitry. He carries no weapon, because he doesn't need one. >give potion to nemesis (first taking the potion) (putting the extinguished torch into the bag of holding to make room) You offer him the potion, pretending to be overconfident, saying you want a fair fight. He replies, "Ha! You're starting to get a little nuts after all these years. And it has been years... Well, who am I to turn down such a gentlemanly gesture. You'll regret it all the more sweetly in the end." He pops the cork, and drinks the potion in one swig before throwing the glass to the floor, shattering it. "So, are you ready yet?" You smile wickedly. Oh, you're ready alright. You're going to die you bastard. [Your score has just gone up by one point.] >murder the nemesis This is it. This is for all the bananas. You put yourself into a stance, put all the anger and weariness of this long and terrible journey into one final, true blow. You strike while your nemesis stands there smiling, oblivious. Your terrible blow rings out across the room, sending your nemesis flying back. Dumbfounded, he stares at his crumbling body in amazement. "H-h-how? I own this world... all the worlds... You were supposed to... *cough* *sputter* ...forever..." Gasping for breath, he tries to crawl away from you - desperate for an escape. Slowly, making sure he can hear every ominous footstep, you walk in front of him. You say, "Did you have fun?" You stomp on his fingers and he cries out. "Did you have a good time?" You punch him in the face. You get down on your hands and knees, and bring your face up close to his ear, and whisper, "That feeling? That's called pain. But unlike you, I am merciful. You only have a few more seconds of agony before I put you out of your misery." He begs for his life, promising to run away and never bother you again. He promises to give you anything you want. Slowly, you stand up again, and look down at him. You consider it for a moment, then smile at him. "No, the only thing I want from you is to finally be able to say this: Go to hell, you bastard." Before he can say anything else, you perform the coup de gras. Now that he is dead, the world begins to shake. All the pixels begins to white out, one by one. Eventually the world world is white, except for you and Penny. The two of you run to each other. She asks, "What's going on? I'm scared." You hold on to her and say, "I don't know. I think I'm returning to my world." She looks at you, eyes pleading, "Will I... disappear too? I don't... I want to go wherever you go!" You look at her, and see that the pixels of her body are dissolving. You say, "Don't disappear on me, Penny!" Without a second thought, you wrap your arms around her tight and close your eyes, wishing for her to stay, hoping for her to stay. The world seems to dissolve into a haze of white... You open your eyes, and you're back in your home. The TV is on, showing static on the screen. But your eyes are drawn to the now very real Princess Penny. Even more beautiful in reality, she smiles at you, and looks around in wonder. "What is this place? Is this a dream?" she asks. You take her hand and say, "No. No more dreaming. It's time to wake up, and start a new journey. Do you want to come?" She grabs your hand tightly, "Yeah, I do." Suddenly you realise you never told her your name! You lead her outside, and say "By the way, by name is-" *** You have won *** In that game you scored 17 out of a possible 0, in 274 turns. Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or QUIT? >